Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Loss

I just lost my oldest step-sister. Although over the years we saw less and less of each other, it is still hard to deal with. My poor parents. I feel bad for my dad. Burying your daughter at the age of 51. Parents are supposed to live out their kids.

Lately I myself have felt my mortality. Ever since I turned 40 I feel like life is too short and there are things I wish I could change.

My mom asked me to create a memorial presentation for Kathleen's services. This is beyond hard. I did this with my mom just over a year ago for my Grandma. Death is not easy and as I dig through old photographs to find ones to include, and as I listen to suitable music to add to the program, I am struck with tears.

My family seems so spread out and torn apart as it is. My only real sister lives in AZ and I live in CO. My parents are still in NE along with my step-brother and step-sister. I only point out the relationship for writing purposes. I often refer to them as my brother and sisters. I feel like life is too short and relationships tend to fall apart, until something tragic happens.

Most of us will get together to mourn the loss of Kathleen. My sis, Sue will not be there though. She is unable to travel.

My heart continues to feel pain from this loss and I hope that my small contribution to Kathleen's memory will warm everyone's day a little bit.