Loss

I just lost my oldest step-sister. Although over the years we saw less and less of each other, it is still hard to deal with. My poor parents. I feel bad for my dad. Burying your daughter at the age of 51. Parents are supposed to live out their kids.

Lately I myself have felt my mortality. Ever since I turned 40 I feel like life is too short and there are things I wish I could change.

My mom asked me to create a memorial presentation for Kathleen's services. This is beyond hard. I did this with my mom just over a year ago for my Grandma. Death is not easy and as I dig through old photographs to find ones to include, and as I listen to suitable music to add to the program, I am struck with tears.

My family seems so spread out and torn apart as it is. My only real sister lives in AZ and I live in CO. My parents are still in NE along with my step-brother and step-sister. I only point out the relationship for writing purposes. I often refer to them as my brother and sisters. I feel like life is too short and relationships tend to fall apart, until something tragic happens.

Most of us will get together to mourn the loss of Kathleen. My sis, Sue will not be there though. She is unable to travel.

My heart continues to feel pain from this loss and I hope that my small contribution to Kathleen's memory will warm everyone's day a little bit.

Elsie Jewell Nielsen Foster's Story

Elsie Jewel Nielsen Foster (written in her own words, July 2000, assisted by her daughter, Karen)

I was born in my parent's home in College Ward Logan Utah on October 19 1924. I was the fifth of a nine children. Mother passed away when I was seven years old. Her Mother, my Grandmother, passed away a couple of weeks before that. My father's sister, my Aunt Violet wanted to take me to live with her. Her daughter, my cousin Ivaloo, was my age and Aunt Violet thought she could raise us together. My Dad said "No" because he wanted to keep the family together. Just a few years later, Aunt Violet passed away. The highlights of my life as a young girl were visits to my mom's sister's houses, Aunt Becky, Aunt Bertha, and Aunt Elsie, especially Aunt Becky. Aunt Becky came to stay with us after Mother passed away and lived with us for 18 months until Father remarried. She became a mother to me.

I was a little accident-prone when I was a child. Amongst my mishaps: I fell while visiting Grandma Jensen and hit my head on the corner of an open oven door. Another time I stood on a spike in a board and ran the spike clear through my foot. When I was around eleven years old, several cousins and I were jumping off a derrick pole, which was used to load and unload hay from the attic of the barn. One evening, I went first and there wasn't any hay. I couldn't go back, so I just jumped. This resulted in my face smashing into my knees and left me with scars and pain I still have today. As an adult, I seemed to have this continuing problem. When my youngest son, Jay, was around four or five years old, he talked me into taking him for a sled ride. I swerved to miss a tree and flew over an embankment and ended up with a fractured tailbone.
When I was 16 years old, I left home and moved to Ogden, Utah. I lived with my sister, Mildred for a few months. I then got a job cleaning and cooking in a boarding house, where I lived for the next six months. Then I found a job as a nurse's aide at the Dee Hospital in Ogden and moved into a one-room apartment. I made $15 a week at Dee Hospital. I saw an ad in the paper for help at Walgreen's Drug Store. I applied and got a job there.

One night while skating at the Berthana Roller Rink, I needed a partner for the multiple couples skate. When they blew the whistle to change partners, my friend pointed out his friend. He said, "Go ask my friend Jack. He's a little shy." I said, "I like shy guys." So I went over and asked Jack to skate. He told me he didn't skate. I asked why he had skates on then, so he had to get up and skate. After that whenever the whistle blew, he said I had gotten him up, so I had to keep skating with him. Before my 18th birthday, August 20, 1942, we were married. In December 1942, Jack was off to war. May 1943, our first daughter, Karen, was born. May 1944, Karen and I moved to Omaha, NE. We moved because I needed someone to watch Karen so I could get a job. We couldn't live on our allotment check of $80 a month. My mother-in-law offered to care for Karen.

December 1945, Jack returned home from the war. He joined us in the house we shared with a friend and her four children. Her husband and my two brothers, Aaron and Jay, who returned from the war, also shared this house for a short time.

A few months later, Jack and I rented a small house in South Omaha. December 1946, our second daughter, Kathleen was born. When Kathy was six months old, I went to work nights at Armour Packing Plant, so we could save money for a house. About six months later, we had an opportunity to move into a house with a friend. We shared the rent and all had our own bedrooms. It was a large and comfortable home, which we eventually purchased. We lived in this house for the next six years. I took in roomers and boarders to help with expenses. Jack's parents moved into our basement because they had a very low income.

Our third daughter, Kristie, was born December 22, 1952. Our son Jack was born June 26, 1954. In 1954 we sold the big house and moved to an acreage just outside the Omaha city limits. There we had 50 fruit trees, 25 of them apricot. We also had lots of garden space. The 20 years we lived there were very busy ones. I picked the fruit and sold what we didn't need. I raised a big garden and canned and froze the fruit and vegetables. Jack's father had passed away. His mother, having only around $45 a month social security to live on, became part of our family. Our youngest son, Jay, was born January 18, 1957. Karen, our oldest daughter, married in May 1963. Jack's mother passed away in 1964 from com;ications from diabetes. Our daughters Kathy and Kristie, and our son, Jack married in the next ten years.

I wish I'd written down all the funny things my kids said and did. If I had I could write a book. And what fun it would be for me to read it. Like most mothers, I thought mine were the cutest, smartest ever born. Of course, I think the same about the grandkids and great grandkids. We have 15 grandchildren and 15 great grandchildren. We count ourselves very fortunate for having them.

In 1974, we moved again to Lavista, NE, where my occupation as a homemaker, gardener and private canning factory continued. During the twelve years we lived there I also taught primary, Sunday school, was homemaking leader in the Stake, and then in the ward. I was back in the ward as homemaking counselor, and then I held that position in the Stake. Then back to ward as Relief Society President. Then back to primary and class leader in the Relief Society simultaneously. Our ward was divided and I was called to be homemaking counselor to Relief Society President for the second time.

In 1988, Jack retired and we moved to the town where he'd been born, Ulysses, NE. We attended church in Columbus, NE, 45 miles northwest of our home. It was a small branch. We just loved it. There I was called to be education counselor in Relief Society. The President was released and a new one sustained. She asked for me to stay on, which I did, but she only lasted a year. Then the third one asked for me for visiting teaching coordinator. I was also called to teach eleven-year-old girls in primary at one time.

After only four years in Ulysses we moved to Cedar Bluffs, across the alley from our daughter Kathy. We moved in March 1992, and received a mission call the week after. We left for the Chicago Illinois Temple the end of August and served there for the next year. A few months after our release, we were called to serve there as rotation workers, which we did for the next four years. Serving in the Temple was the most rewarding thing I ever did, as well as the most spiritually uplifting. It's like being lifted out of the chaos of the world and I would even say as close to heaven as we can get on this earth.

May 30, 1999 the last day we served in the Chicago temple, I had a bad fall (there I go again). I still suffer from that. I injured my legs, right hip and shoulder. After that I had problems with my heart again. I was experiencing immature beats which led to a 2nd heart attack. I had angioplasty and six weeks later, I was back in the hospital again. The stint was plugged with scar tissue. The next 3 years I had 9 heart caths, 2 corroded artery surgeries, bypass and another angioplasty. At this point, I say enough.

We've had to give up temple service; I can't sit to ride long enough. Now I have fibromyalgia added to the other problems. Some days I'm convinced I'm a senior citizen.
I started swimming for exercise after a surgery I had 17 years ago, and I'm still trying. I go to the Y almost every day. Since my 2nd heart attack I have only been able to do half as many laps. But I am thankful I can do that much.

Currently my church calling is supervisor of the visiting teaching in Fremont NE ward. I've been doing this nearly three years. I enjoy it very much. The church and my family are my life. I don't know what I'd do without them both.

What a day

Everyone has one - a day that starts out with a bang and then quickly fizzles. Well today was one of those days. Pepper and I headed out early to buy some gardening supplies and we were going to spend the morning in the yard finishing a project we started yesterday.

But thanks to the gale force winds, are plans changed. We went to Walmart to search for some plants and some weed killer and the wind was already so forceful that I decided we needed to change the day's plans.

So our next adventure was going to be ride the rail system to downtown Denver and meet up with Daddy for lunch or something. He was at a trade show in the city. Well after showering and changing 2 poopy diapers (yes 2!) we finally got into the car to go on our merry way.

On the way there though, I realized that I needed cash to purchase our round trip ticket on the train. So I took a detour through the bank and again we set out. But lo and behold, I didn't go to the station that I am familiar with because I couldn't find it. Don't laugh, I have only been there twice (and yes Jim drove once and I followed him once). If you know me at all, you know I have no sense of direction. Anyway, I thought okay this station will work. So we arrived at the station and the wind was so bad it slammed my door shut after I opened it (Yikes). I should have stopped right there. But no, I didn't.

So I purchased our ticket and then went to catch the train after figuring out which one we needed. And when I got to where I thought the loading area was, no elevator, just a steep stair case. Not so friendly for a mom with a one year old in tow in a STROLLER. So I took Pepper out and hiked up the stairs only to find out that you have to cross the street and go back down the stairs to the loading platform.

With a now cranky baby in tow and sweating from the first hike up the stairs I decided to give up. We went back down the stairs - both baby and stroller in hand of course. And sadly went back to the car and informed hubby that we would not be coming.

Of course Pepper was ticked that she had to get in her car seat again so soon - she was pleading not to. But I had to force her in so we could go home and call it a day.

Memoirs of an Invisible Girl

Okay not so much an adventure, but some thoughts finally put down on "paper".

Memoirs of an Invisible Girl

Did you ever have the feeling you were invisible? Not in the literal sense, but in living your every day life? Well I am that girl. Actually I am 40 years old, but have dealt with invisibility my whole life. You have probably seen me on the street or in the mall, or perhaps worked with me in a previous job, or even met me face-to-face, but due to my invisibility, you don’t remember me and probably would need to meet me several times before you remembered me. And you would probably have to be a close family member to acknowledge my birthday or perhaps wonder how I am feeling.

I think it started in Junior High. I was never the pretty girl or the popular girl. I was smart and had friends, but never seemed to own a room or stand out in a crowd. I remember going to the roller rink on the weekends with my friends and being a wall flower as they announced the snowball skate. The one where one couple starts the skate and when the DJ says “switch” each partner selects a new person from the “wall”. I stood on the wall so long sometimes and I would eventually fade into the benches and eventually give up.

My invisibility didn’t stop there. 7^th grade was awful for the self esteem factor. People made fun of my name and changed it into a horrible slang for the male sex organ. We don’t need to go there though.

Then as I progressed into high school I was flat chested and had short hair and often got teased for being a boy. There was one time where we were changing after marching band and I was in the main music room putting away my clarinet. This was also the room that later became the boys dressing area once all the girls were out. Some boy actually said “oh Invisible is the only one left, we can change”. That was a real up-lifter. At least they saw me.

But high school invisibility didn’t end there. I tried out for cheerleading my freshman year. My best friend’s mom was the nurse at the school and was told the list of the girls that made it. My friend couldn’t wait to tell me. Was invisible girl going to be finally seen? Well low and behold my utter shock when the next day at school they announced the 9^th grade squad and my name wasn’t on the list. Evidently my name wasn’t popular enough, they switched me out for the principal’s daughter. How cruel!!

I never did have a serious boyfriend in high school until my senior year. I did have a major crush on a boy that was from California. Every girl did. I was invisible to him except for letting him cheat off me in Spanish class and hanging out a few times outside of school. At one point I really thought he liked me too, boy was I mistaken. I was just being used.

I dated a few times, but I didn’t play the field and have the fun that other girls were having. Boys just didn’t notice me, and if they did they weren’t really boyfriends that I wanted to have. I had boys that were friends and that I liked to hang out with. And looking back they are the ones I should have stuck with. Hanging out and having fun.

I went to all the major dances of my high school career. The snoball dance was one where the girl asked the guy. Sometimes it took a few guys to get one to say yes, but hey at least I went. I never was a knockout when I was all dressed up. I was always a plain Jane with poofy hair that my mom tried to fix. I have a crooked smile. Thankfully I went through braces and got straight teeth, but have worn glasses since I was 5. Luckily back in those days I could wear contacts though. So that improved my image a little.

Then once I started dating my most serious high school boyfriend who later became the father to my son and my first husband, other boys started asking me out. But after several years of low self esteem and my invisibility, I was too ignorant to accept their invitations and play the field. I was “in love” and going to spend my life with my new beau. We were married when I became pregnant and divorced only 3 years later.

Then I married the man of my life when I was 22. He made me feel special and appreciated me for who I was. With the divorce and other stress of my life I dropped a ton of weight and was down to a size 4 and I dyed my hair black. People were actually starting to see me. That was probably the least invisible I ever was.

Funny thing is, when I married my Mr. Right, I was marrying Mr. Invisible. We used to joke about it. We would go to a wedding or other gathering with many people around who we knew. We would sit at an empty table and see how long it would take for someone to sit by us. Usually it was never people we knew that joined us and they joined us in groups because there were no other tables. We said we repel people. We tell this story to our close friends (yes believe it or not we have a few), and they laugh. I don’t think non-invisible people realize that this is serious.

One time Mr. Right and I decided to sit at separate tables for a bit at a church event, just to see which one of us repelled people the most. I think I won that prize. Someone we knew went up and started talking to him first. This is not a trophy you want friends.

I am a social media person. I have Facebook and Twitter accounts. I do have friends and followers. But let me tell you, if it weren’t for diligent Facebook users, I wouldn’t get birthday wishes other than from my family. I think I could not talk to someone for several years and they would not even give it a second thought.

I will continue to live my invisible life and continue to maintain my friendships via text, email, and social media, but I don’t think I will ever outgrow my invisible life.

Easter

We had a delightful Easter day. Earlier in the week we colored a dozen eggs together. Pepper watched as Libby, Mommy and Daddy worked on them.

Then on Easter morning the eggs were cleverly hidden (ok so maybe not too cleverly). Pepper noticed one right away. It was really cute. It was as if she knew what was going on and what to do. She found 2 before Libby was even downstairs.

When Libby came down they proceeded to hunt for eggs. Pepper was really into it. It was really precious.

After finding all the eggs, the girls looked for their baskets. Libby was excited to get hers with a Rubik's cube and candy. Pepper was pleased with hers as well. She had 6 eggs filled with Fisher Price Little People. She had a lot of fun playing with them.

After breakfast, we put a movie on for Pepper and went through Matthew Chapters 26-28 reading and remembering about why we celebrate Easter. We then read through John Chapter 1. It was a great morning.

Coping with a cold

Why does it seem that when a toddler gets a cold, it lasts forever. We have been coping with a runny nose and cough for over two weeks. Pepper was checked for an ear infection and treated for 10 days.

But the runny nose seems to last and the gurgly cough too. It is so sad to watch your baby go through this for so many days. And so tiring when it effects their appetite and sleep too!

She refused to eat her usual solids and drank very little milk during the 10 day stretch that she was on antibiotics. And speaking of antibiotics, getting 1 tsp down twice a day had its challenges as well!

Oh and the two nights that she projectile vomited, yah we could have done without those too.

Anyway the worst is hopefully behind us and we can hope for a healthier few months!

Disney World with a toddler

Well we just got back from family vacation in Disney World. Grandma Barb and Rick met us in Florida for a week long Disney adventure. I was a little worried about taking a one year old there. Would she sleep? Would she be overwhelmed?

But actually, Pepper was wonderful. She was very excited to see all the people, the characters and to enjoy some rides. We took her on several little kid rides and also took her with us on some other major attractions. She actually fell asleep on Pirates of the Caribbean. And she really enjoyed the shows. She clapped and danced along with Beauty and the Beast and street boogied with a host of characters during a street parade.

Pepper also had a chance to come up close and personal with some characters during character greetings and some dining opportunities. She loved seeing the characters from a bit of a distance and would blow them kisses and both sign and say "more". But if they got too close, she would wave them off and say "bye bye" and "no no". It was really cute.

However, when she warmed up to them, she would give them five, hug a few of them. She loved meeting Pooh and Tigger. But poor Eyore, she didn't want a lot to do with him. She also loved hugging Marie - one of the Aristocats.

It was a great vacation with the whole family. Libby got to meet the newest Disney princess, Princess Tiana, from Princess and the Frog! She was elated. She is infatuated with this movie. She had seen it twice before we went to Disney, and talked Grandma Barb into seeing it at Downtown Disney.

Tiana was a beautiful princess and very friendly. She was of course with her prince, Navine. Libby loved meeting both of them. We got lots of pictures with them and she also got their autographs.

It was great having Rick and Grandma come from Omaha to meet us. It gave us a chance to be together and also enjoy Disney together once again! It was a great first trip for Pepper and a wonderful vacation!

2010 A New Year

The Christmas season was a hard one this year. It was our first year traveling for the holidays. We made the decision to go back in time for Christmas Eve and in hindsight this was not the optimum way to do things.

We ended up going back way too early and celebrating our Christmas at home on the 17th. This decision was made at the last minute because we didn't want to take everything back with us. However, there were some items that I had planned to take back for Christmas morning.

Due to the weather being bad in Omaha this changed our plans and derailed our plans for Christmas again. We were going to spend some of our time in our friends house who was traveling for the holidays, however we stayed with Jim's parents instead. Thankfully we did this, otherwise there would not have been any family Christmas time on Christmas day.

Our first attempt to celebrate Christmas with Grandpa Foster didn't go as planned. He was not feeling well, so we spent only an hour with him and then left just in case he was getting the flu.

Then on Christmas Eve the Christmas blizzard of 2009 started and we didn't end up going to Grandma Edie's as planned. We did get to celebrate with Jim's family though as planned on Christmas Eve which was nice. However the blizzard prevented us from getting together with my family on Christmas day.

We instead postponed this visit to Sunday, thus extending our stay in Omaha by a couple more days.

Next year we will plan differently and hopefully have the feeling of a more normal Christmas, but all in all we did get to spend some quality time with family and friends and enjoy the season as the week went on. But we were all happy to be safe at home in time to bring in the New Year.